To alcohol! The cause of and solution to all life's
problems.
Homer Simpson
The
wine urges me on, the bewitching wine, which sets even a wise man to singing and
to laughing gently and rouses him up to dance and brings forth words which were
better unspoken.
Homer (800 BC - 700 BC), The Odyssey
The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass.
Martin Mull (1943 - )
One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.
Nancy Astor (1879 - 1964)
I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on.
Oscar Levant (1906 - 1972)
Okay, brain. You
don't like me, and I don't like you, but let's get through this thing and then I
can continue killing you with beer.
Homer Simpson
Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900), In Life of Oscar Wilde, H. Pearson
Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with,
that it's compounding a felony.
Robert Benchley (1889 - 1945)
I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake--which I also
keep handy.
W. C. Fields (1880 - 1946)
Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several
days we had to live on nothing but food and water.
W. C. Fields (1880 - 1946)
Son, when
you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose... it's how
drunk you get.
Homer Simpson
"You don't drink beer - you rent it."
Anonymous
"A woman drove me to drink
and I never even had the courtesy to thank her."
W.C.Fields
"Beer is living proof that God loves us."
Ben Franklin
"The mouth of a perfectly
happy man is filled with beer"
Ancient Egyptian proverb
"Give me a woman who truly loves beer, and I will conquer the world." (Kaiser Wilhelm)
"A woman is a lot like beer. They smell good, they look good, and you'd step over your own mother to get one." Homer Simpson
"The selling of bad beer is a crime against Christian love."
13th century law from the city of Augsburg
And malt does more than
Milton can
To justify God's ways to man.
A. E. Housman (1859 - 1936)
I would kill
everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.
Homer Simpson
Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons,
that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking.
Dave Barry (1947 - ), "The Taming of the Screw"
If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt.
Dean Martin
Bacchus hath drowned more men than Neptune.
Dr. Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734), Gnomologia, 1732
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your
mouth shut.
Ernest Hemingway (1899 - 1961)
Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small
people talk about wine.
Fran Lebowitz (1950 - )
My Grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out
of the bottle.
Henny Youngman (1906 - 1998)
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
Henny Youngman (1906 - 1998)
[Water is] the only drink for a wise man.
Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862)
It is better to hide ignorance, but it is hard to do this when we relax over
wine.
Heraclitus (540 BC - 480 BC), On the Universe]
It has been my experience
that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.
Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)
All beers are session beers.
It just depends on how long you want the session to be.
A previous landlord of the Cheshire Ring